It has been a long time, hello there!
In the past few months, the most common question that I have to answer is:
“so, how is married life?”
Initially and perhaps instinctively, the answer is always ‘good!’ and silence follows. I couldn’t elaborate further because I didn’t know what to say. I know it was good, but I just did not know how to describe it. Hence, finally, after some time, (ok, maybe after a year of being married) I decided to pen it down somewhere. That way, I have a more complete answer, but also at the same time (largely in fact) for myself. To always remind myself of this great and godly man I married (whom at this present moment, is directly in front of me, totally oblivious about me writing about us)
So, here’s are my thoughts… on why/how married life is good/great/a blast!
Firstly, we are the best #TEAM. I looked beside me and I see my best friend, laughing at my (horrible) jokes, telling me how his day went (although most of the time I know since we worked in the same company) and sharing all our inner thoughts – both good and bad. I distinctively remember one night, when both of us were so troubled by something that happened in the day. We were so troubled that we couldn’t sleep. So that night, we knew what we needed to do. We sat and prayed. we lifted our troubles to God and poured out our hearts. It reminded me of not only what God could do (He really came through for us – that’s another story altogether) but it also reminded me of how two people can put a thousand to flight. Together, we were so much stronger, so much more faith-filled.
Secondly, we inspire each other. We all know that life brings us to the mountain top and to the valleys. More often than not, we take turns being at the valley. When that happens, there is another person to pull you up. To remind you that there is something bigger than your problems. To not be self-centred and just think about you and your problems. To be bigger, to dream much more, to go somewhere further, to have a little faith. To have that person is God’s blessing. Having a godly partner does that for you. He is like the friends of the paralytic man who brought him to Jesus for a miracle – just that he is all 4 rolled into 1.
Thirdly, marriage made us less self-centred. Dating and marriage is way different. You learn to cope with each other quirks and habits in a much larger scale. For me, I have to coil all my cables because he cannot take it (ok, sometimes, i don’t do it and he just ends up doing it. HAHA). For him, he has to pack everything into nice neat boxes because I cannot take it if it is not packed nicely. That’s just one of the many things we have learnt to deal with each other. The selfish person would expect the other person to change. But the truth is, we, ourselves need to change. We have to be the right partner before we can find the right partner. (quote: Pastor How from Learning & Choosing to be the Right Life Partner) So, we learn to be less self centred. What can I do to make the marriage better? What can I do to help him grow? If we learn to think for each other more and less about ourselves, I find that we argue lesser and love more.
There’s so much more, but I think for me, these are the 3 main benefits! Perhaps we never really know a 100% that he is the ‘right one’ or if there is someone out there thats the ‘right one’. BUT I am 100% of one thing. I have chosen him and he has chosen me. So for better for worse, HE IS THE RIGHT ONE. WE MAKE IT WORK.
Love you to the moon and back, J. ❤